Silviana

Description

Demon Prince(ess) of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy
Queen of Succubi and Incubi
Lesser God(dess)

The Queen of this layer herself will always appear in a form that can spark the most wanton abandon of lust and sexual desire possible in her victims minds. However her true form is slightly different. Being the fact that she represents all spheres of immoral sexual desire, the Queen is, in her true form, a bisexual hermaphrodite. She is really neither female or male, but both, however because from the known accounts by sages and wizards who have some knowledge of Silviana, she is referred to as a female because she has appeared as one more often than a male by most tales. Even in her true form her aura of lust and sex is enough to cause any man or woman to have hard problems controlling their sexual desire for Silviana.

Silviana is the queen of all Succubi and Incubi, and her home plane is a palace filled with them, all constantly in the acts of immortal sex. When confronting victims or intruders, Silviana always takes on the guise of an extremely beautiful woman (or man) that brings out the most possible desire in her victims. Her true form is no less beautiful. Being a hermaphrodite, Silviana has soft creamy skin, long golden hair, and sky blue eyes. Silviana's body is a perfect meld of male and female quality's, almost to the point where, except for the very desirably sized and shaped sex organs, one might be mistaken that Silviana is simply a masculine looking female. When confronting a victim, Silviana will switch to either, only her female characteristics or her male characteristics. Anyone who gazes upon Silviana when in either form, must make an automatic save verses petrifaction (at -3, -6 if on the home plane of the demon) or be overcome by such a massive amount of sexual desire that they will drop all they are doing and immediately prostrate themselves naked before her/him. Note: if a character in the party has expressed they do not have a sexual desire for Silviana's present choice of form (stated at the time of the save, GM's keep record of what they say) they must (still make a normal save, no minus). Silviana's sexual pheromones are so powerful that they can alter the personality and characteristics of a character to desire to engage in sex that would otherwise be not normal for them! Appropriate bonus's (up to the GM) can be awarded to characters who have expressed characteristics that might be helpful in combating Silviana's charm.

When Silviana physically attacks (she rely's more on her charm than actually having to attack someone) she will attempt to strike someone, anyone so struck will be drained of one level (including all hit points gained for that level, spells, etc.). If Silviana has charmed someone and decides to attack them, she will kiss them. Her kiss, being exceptionally deadly, will drain 3 levels from a victim. Anyone who is completely drained by Silviana is doomed to serve as a pleasure slave for her, for all eternity.

Silviana can summon 2-8 Succubi (Incubi) at will, or 1-4 of any other type of demon. As for her relations with other demon lords and princes, they remain neutral in all situations being the fact that all the other lords like spending their vacations on her plane...

Also in this section of the source

Adventuring Ideas

The Love Boat

The player characters book passage on a magic-flying luxury cruise ship nicknamed "The Love Boat" for a relaxing time in the clouds. On the ship, the PCs encounter the crew: Captain Stubing, "Gopher", "Doc", Isiac, Julie McCoy. Also, they encounter loads of interesting people and plenty of opportunities to use the rules and stuff that are presented in the guide.

Dog Man Needs A Date

An uncharismatic man hires the PCs to help him attain the affection of a lovely maiden. This allows great opportunity for role-playing, which includes buying new clothes for him, teaching him how to act, etc.. Problems could arise if the maiden falls in love with one of the PCs. Also, the maiden could have a large fighter boyfriend who could be really angry.

Twins

A PC seduces a very beautiful nice willing person. The following day, the PC meets the twin who is mean, bad, and boring. This could lead to nice effects.

Paternity Suite

After returning with the spoils of a great adventure, a male character is confronted with a paternity suit from a fair lass who he was promiscuous with only a few months ago.

Vampire & Seduction

The party is on some sort of extended vacation, staying in an inn/bar. A frequent visitor is a tall, dark, suave, charming man dressed in formal evening wear, accompanied by a different woman every time. He comes in every 2nd or 3rd night. He always orders bloody marys and doesn't drink them. He is quite wealthy and very pleasant. There is something almost magnetic about him. He has fascinating eyes. (GM should do everything he can to make it believable that he could be a vampire, despite the unusual setting (city).

Either he charms (seduction) a female party member and takes her away, or a beautiful dancer comes in looking for her missing sister, who was last seen coming to this bar with the tall dark gentleman. She tries to convince a party member to help her look for her sister being seductive about it. Both are eventually charmed by the Gentleman. In any case, make a party member disappear into this Gentleman's lair.

He has a gothic style house in a nice part of town. There is nothing obviously amiss here. If the party asks around, this guy is a pillar of society, a kind, philanthropic fellow, well respected by his peers. He runs a magic shoppe. He is a mid-level wizard with a head for business, who gave up adventuring to start a business.

His house looks just like a vampires house might look (black velvet curtains, etc). He has a private sanctuary inn his basement, the only entrance to which is a rune-encrusted door (trapped or enchanted in any way appropriate to the party). He supposedly has a chapel down there, but really has a large complex, where various vampiric rituals, and all-night parties take place. All of the missing people have been charmed into believing that they have been turned into slave vampires. They will aid their master if at all possible.

The party must break in and forcibly take their companion away from this place. Again, make the evidence somewhat contradictory whether the Gentleman is a vampire or not. Most evidence should say yes, but make some things contradict this.

The gentleman has a cursed ring of the vampire, a powerful evil artifact which makes him believe he is a vampire and gives him many of the powers of a vampire, as well as some of the drawbacks. Make him dislike things that cause a vampire harm, but don't make it obvious whether is works. Make him have a reflection, but have a dead vampire victim show up, etc.. At the end, have the party realize that he is not a vampire at all but rather is a cursed fellow with an intrinsically good nature.

Essay: What If a Character Rapes a NPC?

This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a Internet RPG discussion. The thoughts written here are not necessarily those of any one person. Many points of view went into this essay.

In reality, rape usually involves great physical injury, but rape is much more than the infliction of physical pain. Rape affects the victim psychologically and spiritually as well something a mere cut (no matter how big) does not have.

Is rape nothing more than a different form combat? When one person rapes another, what the rapist is doing is degrading the victim. Even foes that hate each other have at least a grudging respect for each other. If they lose that respect, they run the risk of being killed because they have underestimated their opponent. Rape shows a total lack of respect and decency. Rape is a one way thing that combat is not.

From a Christian perspective, people were made by God to relate to each other with love; it's easy to see that rape is one of the greatest violations of this design specification, considering that sex is, in its natural state, one of the most intimate ways that two people can relate to each other and express their love for one another.

In RPGs, the physical side of things can be changed with the use of spells, potions, etc.; but not the mental and spiritual side. Even if a female character (whether PC or NPC) were to have her virginity restored do to magic, there is no way one could consider her to be a virgin any more. Because virginity is not only physical state but a mental and spiritual one as well. Technically, a male doesn't change physically after having sex as a woman does. Once that innocence and purity has been lost, it cannot be regained. That is why it is so valuable.

In most modern fantasy literature, rape exists but only as a major plot device. However, In ancient fantasy literature, and in historical fact, the situation is more complex. The Greek gods had not-entirely-consensual sex with mortal women quite often, but they usually employed deception rather than brute force; and the result was usually a child with strange powers, rather than a revolt against the god. Until recently, a man who had non-consensual sex with his wife or his female slave would not have been considered a rapist. Victorious armies would "rape and pillage" as the normal behavior for conquering. So if the GM basing his campaign with historical accuracy, than rape as a plot device might be accepted.

When rape does appear in an RPG, it is most likely because the GM and/or players are immature. Sure some players like to introduce sex into their campaign, usually humorously. Albeit a lot of people who use sex in RPGs are immature and acting out juvenile fantasies, some players can handle the use of sex in RPGs constructively. However, rape is not humorous nor constructive. Immature players are often treating the topic to casually. Mature players are more familiar with rape and think about it before taking it lightly. The topic should be given some form of respect.

Having rape in an RPG might be a good plot device if used by the mature GM in an adventure. The real trouble of rape in a RPG arises when a character wishes to indulge in such a horrible act.

Rape is not the way to solve a problem, even if it is only a game. There are always other options, instead of implementing one that definitely isn't funny, and could also disturb the players. Taking this course of action, no matter how chaotic a campaign, is probably not a good idea and the GM might wish to take serious action on the character that performs such an act.

Remember, a player would never think of having a character perform an act of rape on an NPC if the NPC was male. A male NPC would just be beat-up quite easily and rape wouldn't be considered. So why is it that somebody will suggest such a course of action if the NPC is a female? Well because it can be done is not a good enough reason; nor because it will shut her up is a reason.

Many gamers play RPG's to escape from the horrors of the real world. Role-playing games are suppose to be fun but abominations like rape ruin the fun. There is little reason to bring that sort of graphic violence into the game; especially from a player-character. Most game sessions are played with enough problem solving that they can be enjoyed perfectly well without the wrong-type of violence.

Also, using such violence in the game sounds as if such a hideous act as rape is being condoned. Without judging the player, the player's reasons for such "role-playing" could be dealt with outside the game session so as not to cause to much trouble.

Remember, rape is a very disturbing, terrifying subject for women. Having such a thing in a RPG, even though it is a game, might keep women from playing the game. Women provide a very wonderful and unique outlook in RPGs and they would be missed.

As a general rule, dragons and swords are not an expected means of death in the real world. Nor does anybody anticipate ever meeting Cthulhu or Tiamat. Death is something that can happen to anyone at any time realistically as well as in the realm of RPGs. But rape is an act of cruelty and unmitigated evil which is also a violation of not only the body but of the mind. It also has a deeply personal affect the real world in that it is a danger that all must face, if not for ourselves, then for our wives, sisters, daughters, and other family and friends. A very real danger that makes most people feel uncomfortable to discuss.

The bottom line is that RPGs are supposed to be fun for everyone playing. For a lot of people, it puts them in a medieval setting wheRe they can be what they want and do what they want. It lets them escape reality for a little while and leave problems behind. How realistic does an RPG need to be? Does it have to mimic the real-world so closely? Don't bring in one of woman's greatest fears into the game. It isn't necessary.

Essay: Has Anyone Played a Homosexual Character?

This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a Internet RPG discussion list. The thoughts written here are not necessarily those of any one person. Many points of view went into this essay. Also, the validity of statements made is not known.

"I've never played one, but..."

"We're not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay."

The "Army of Lovers" (i.e. exclusively homosexual company of soldiers) was something out of the ancient Greek city-states. There was only one city-state, Thebes, where being gay was a "requirement" if you wished to become a soldier. This was not a strict requirement, but was considered highly advantageous. It was reported to be (by writers in other city states) to be one of the most effective armies at the time. The unit was called the Thebian Sacred Band, and they served under Alexander. They worked in buddy teams: a spear-men and a shield man. They were renown for their extreme closeness, fierceness, and efficiency in battle (esp. if their lover was killed!)

Note, that in Sparta, all male children were raised up by the state, trained to be soldiers, the menial work was left to the "helotas" (slaves). They had male companionship for most of the time, so that is why their sexual interests were different. In Sparta, homosexuality was accepted, but not like it was in Thebes. Spartans had more of a Roman respect for women.

That's not to say that romantic involvement, or even long-term relationships weren't common between soldiers in the other city-states. It had a lot to do with the inequality of women, and their place, in ancient Greek society. In ancient Greece, women were considered inferior to men. Not quite (but almost) property. Certainly not something a person would want to spend lots of quality time with. The most common opinion of women was that they were good for one thing - having babies. If a man had to have sex for that, well, that's one of the things a dutiful husband did. But if you wanted a relationship, passionate sex, someone you could talk with afterwards, men were where it was at (although this is a bit exaggerated).

It was common practice in upper-crust Athenian society for young boys to be "taken in" by an older gentleman, who would become the youth's mentor and also lover. This was considered a healthy upbringing.

From what remained of the Greek literature, it is obvious that women were more often that subject of male sexual desire, than men. After all, it was a women (Helena) the Spartans fought for a couple of decades with the Trojans, according to Homeros. Odusseus and his soldiers were tempted several times by females, on his journey to home, and it was a female (his wife) he wanted to return so badly, and this female was courted by many - noble - males, and he got so mad when he saw this that he wiped out all those males because of one female.

Now, in Rome things were not quite the same. The Romans held a similar low opinion of women. Not quite as low, but it was down there. Women were considered eminently suitable for sex. Discussion, companionship, camaraderie, were all still male-oriented, but women were considered capable of satisfying the purely physical needs. That's not to say that there was anything wrong with having sex with a man. As long as you were on top. Screwing a guy was manly; being screwed was effeminate, shameful. Caesar came under fire several times, not because of his numerous affairs with men, but because he liked to be on the bottom. However, although it is true that women had their strict rule in the society, they were not supposed to mingle in politics, and so on. But those that read "Antigone" from Sophokles will see that they were not thought of as domestic animals. Or even worse, women were considered property to be used for the reason of reproduction and personal gain for a family.

Most Romans were very touchy on the issue of homosexuality. If one wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright as long as one were a closet homosexual. If one were open, one could pretty much kiss any chance of a political life good bye! Nero was the Emperor, and could crush his enemies. If he wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright cause he had power. Romans believed that men should have women, and the women should be subservient to men. If one wanted to have another man, go ahead, just don't tell anyone!

It wasn't brought up in Glory of Rome, but actually Julius Caesar's Tenth Legion had a slight reputation for being Caesar's "favorite" legion.

Both societies were very male oriented, which is why there is little writing about lesbians at the time (though it was there).

In a typical European setting, homosexuality would certainly be frowned upon. This does not, of course, mean that there aren't any homosexuals running around - just that they are secretive, repressed, etc..

One can't deny that homosexuality was widespread before the advent of Christianity, but it was considered as an alternative only, not the necessarily the way. In any case, there is no need to make an issue with homosexuality in a campaign, but having various sexual orientations can really make for interesting adventures.

For example, a nobleman's gay lover vanishes or is captured - perhaps to be used against him. So he hires a group of discreet adventures to deal with the situation.

In the Thieves' World books, there are a group of mercenaries known as "Sacred Banders". They appear to be male couples who are excellent fighting teams (it is assumed that they shared the same tents, and did certain things... but they didn't go into it). They are supposedly based on some historical Athenian units, or some such thing.

On one campaign world, which has evolved to cover many continents and cultures, there is a whole spectrum of sexual attitudes. In some cultures, homosexuality is not frowned upon, and is indeed considered to be normal. There is even an island based upon an Aztec legend where there are only women. They are ruled by priestesses who is divinely enabled to brew a potion which will impregnate a woman.

One adventuring party spent a long time travelling with a pirate named Dalin and first mate, Shandar. The two guys were clearly best friends who had been adventuring together for many years. The party was always impressed with how close they were. The group never even suspected the truth.

And now a small exert about a strange character:

"Hendrix is an old, ugly, gnome illusionist. He is lawful evil, and his goal is to have sex with as many different people/things as possible. He wants them willing and alive, but he'll take them by force if necessary. He's also fond of guile.

He has a ring of polymorph self and a couple of other trinkets he's acquired along the way. Whenever he starts a new adventure he joins the adventuring party in disguise. Most of the disguises are helped out by his trinkets, but some of them aren't even plausible. Yet, somehow they keep getting accepted, though. Some examples are Dorien Wolfride a female halfling ranger, Noli of Clan Ironfoots male dwarf wizard (he can't cast spells but fakes it), Honeysuckle Rapevictimson a male half-orc paladin.

Hendrix is actually doing quite well in his mission. Unfortunately, the other adventurers are rabid heterosexuals, so Hendrix has only attempted hetero seduction. He can't wait to see their faces when he's found out."

Plots for Homosexual Characters

The Gay Man and the Jealous Wife

Have some important married person (maybe nobility) fall in love with one of the characters. This should be a "from afar" affection originally. Then when the man's wife finds out about it, she could do a couple things. First, try to have the character killed off, so she can keep her husband. Or, she could try to frame the character as being a succubus (or similar) in disguise. Using the theory that her husband COULDN'T be gay, since he married her, hence the character must be using magic or something. Either way, when the wife first begins this stuff, the character should be unaware of the man's feelings, and be tasked with finding out what the lady has against him (the whole party could be affected too).

A variant of this could be a gay couple, where one falls for the character and the other wants the PC dead.

Saying No

A very beautiful women begins making appearances (could be an adventurer) when the party is in town. Initially, she's just friendly towards the party, then little by little it becomes apparent that she's interested in the homosexual. One option, the party must tell her and convince her she's got no chance with him. The character could tell her, and who knows how she'll react when she finds out. Probably, initial rage or disgust, but up to this point, the party should have been getting the impression that she's really a very nice/important/heroic person.

This could lead to further role-playing encounters as the party tries to keep her as a friend.

Land of Fairies, Literally

The party enters a foreign city where homosexual is the norm. The entire party is viewed with disgust (except the gay character, and he is looked down upon for befriending the "straights", said with disgust by all NPCs in the town).

A chance for excellent role-playing encounters for all concerned.

Reverse Rape

The character could be raped by some powerful/important woman. Perhaps a magic-user, who could have some nasty original spells, specifically for torturing the guy. Then it becomes the party's "test of friendship to hunt the offender down and kill her. One would hope they would do no different if it was a female character who was raped by a man.

Evil of Homosexuality

Have the party enter a city/dominion/area where homosexuality is suddenly being persecuted to the extreme (a la Spanish Inquisition). The local ruler has outlawed it, the church too, all the major powers have decide that it is the root of all evil and the reason their city/dominion is undergoing economic hardship (which is just an excuse to cover the results of their own corruption). Homosexuals are being burned at the stake etc...

The homosexual party member might well feel the need to combat this persecution, and if powerful enough, be the champion of local homosexuals. If he/she is stupid enough to confront the ruling elite, a great chase scene can be had, but the party should escape. Now the possibilities for a lengthy campaign where the homosexual character (With or without the aid of the rest of the characters) can form a underground resistance movement. If the character isn't that willing to help out, an old lover can run into him/her on the street and threaten to expose them if they don't help (another way would be to have the character watch as an old lover is burnt at the stake, and character should be resolved to help at that sight).

So, the party gets embroiled in all kinds of planning, raids, rescues, waging the battle for the hearts and minds of the public, maybe even an assassination or three if that's how you're players are. Meanwhile they are pursued an harassed with increasing strength until the climax. Perhaps one of the city/dominion leaders is a really a homosexual, and the party convinces them to confess in front of the people, who knows?

A Few Good Stories

One funny occurrence ---

One of the clerics in my party went to an inn that also provided companionship for the night, either preference. When he got his bedmate, he and she had a little fun. (the encounter lasted 10 minutes game time, heh,heh). Afterward, they did it again, and this time it lasted 1 hr. 15 min., with him fainting at the end. When he woke up, he found himself in a cell, and the woman nowhere to be seen.

It turns out that a woman named the White Lich had been taking out potential enemies throughout the kingdom (she is a LICH). It also turned out that it wasn't "white" lich, but "wight" lich.

Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight lich!!!

--- Larry

Learning about true love ---

Mowahpehnoksie (Mo), Plainsman warrior (my character) was on a quest (solo) for a lost plainsman treasure. The first part of the quest was the creation of a sacred bundle, the tribal shaman told Mo that he had to acquire a lock of hair from his one true love as an ingredient in the sacred bundle. As it turned out Mo had a "one true love" in the person of Vasquez, an elven privateer/warrior of extraordinary beauty and sword skill. Mo had been chasing Vasquez for a long time, all to no avail. She kept telling him that she would marry him when he could beat her in a duel. No one had ever beaten her in a duel. Anyhow, Mo sets off for the city where Vasquez was docked. First he checks at the Bloody Blade, a tavern partially owned by Vasquez, the bartender says she is down on the docks talking to her crew (of cutthroats). Mo goes to the docks, the first mate says that she just left and said she would be back in a few days. A disappointed Mo goes back to the tavern to leave a message, but the bartender tells him that Vasquez just came in and went up to her rooms. Mo goes up there and gets invited in. Vasquez is wearing a robe, and has a full bath of water drawn, she dumps Mo into the water, one thing leads to another...

When Mo wakes up, Vasquez is standing by the window, she turns says "Tyche sends her regards" changes into her true form, a succubus and teleports away. Tyche was an old enemy of the adventurers that had heard about Mo's quest, and wanted to set him up. Mo eventually found Vasquez at her father's castle where he had to explain what had happened, and see if she would still give him her hair (she did, taking pity on the fool). To make a long story short, Mo passed through many more trials, and succeeded in the quest. The succubus in the scenario had been careful to control her draining abilities while with Mo, because the real reason for all the subterfuge was delivered to Mo roughly nine months later, a bouncing baby alu-demon. What is the moral of this story? Don't have pre-marital sex? No, then what? Shapechanging creatures can make for very interesting bed partners.

NOTE: Mo and Vasquez were eventually married, and are raising their alu-demon daughter as best they can. Vasquez has more or less forgiven Mo for the whole thing, and even helped rescue the kid when she was kidnapped. They are in semi retirement until Soah is old enough to take care of herself. They are very happy to have weaned her off of eating raw meat.

--- John Daniel

Prostitutes are nasty ---

Our group of four entered a real sleazy town, it was basically a pirates' cove town where pirates, thugs, and assorted baddies resided when they weren't attacking, raping, and pillaging the neighborhood. The group of us (myself a monk, a fighter, cleric, and mage) were searching for the whereabouts of a lady kidnapped from a prominent merchant from our hometown whom we owed favors too for past help. The trail at this point led to this town where he (the supposed ring leader of the kidnappers) had been known to frequent. Of course, none of the "regulars" there wanted anything to do with a bunch of strangers coming in and we were getting nowhere. Of course, my character wanted nothing to do with this place and considered the whole area to be respite with creeps. Our fighter though was a big burlesque guy and found the prostitution there to be a wonderful, wonderful place. Our cleric (who being female had a rough time with the people of the area) basically stuck by my side and the two of us spent more time searching for the damn fighter than getting information on the kidnapping. Of course, he struck it rich with a talkative hooker and found that the person we were looking for was holdup in the harbor on a boat.

Eventually we snuck down there, boarded and captured the criminal, rescued the lady, then had to battle our way back out. Altogether, we were hounded by:

• a) the criminal's pals
• b) some other rouges who were smitten by our lovely cleric and wanted her for their own
• c) two separate prostitutes who say they are carrying our fighters child (They can't both be, can they? It must be a scam, at least HE says so...)
• d) the "ladies'" pals and family who both insist on marriage or financial reimbursements for what he did to these poor ladies

Well, we made it out fine. Returned to our hometown where we're sort of hero's now, but in danger whenever we leave. Ahhh... what a life adventurers leave.

THE MORALE: Don't let a fighter run rampant in a sleazy town filled with lots of lovely prostitutes.

--- Toa the monk

A cleric's penance ---

Although our group engaged in sexual encounters (old favorites like the innkeeper's daughter, the farmer's wife, etc.), it usually had severe consequences. After the treatment of one character, a cleric, the group stayed clear of these opportunities.

This character, a cleric, was seduced by a bar wench during one of our stops. Although the sex was supposedly great, soon after the cleric began to notice a tingling sensation in his groin. Sure enough, his deity had struck him with a venereal disease, and no spell could take it off! The condition became more debilitating until finally, after intense prayer, his god forgave him as long as a certain penance was followed. This involved the usual series of prayers, and one extra condition: on the ground there magically appeared a bag of holding (usable only for the purpose it was intended), and inside was a large supply of BURLAP UNDERWEAR! There was enough for the cleric to change three times daily, which, of course, he was required to do! We all steered clear of barmaids after that!

--- Mario R. Borelli

A Barbarian's Boo-Boo ---

Our adventuring group was exploring a keep of some type looking for the main baddie who was female. When we found her bedroom, she wasn't there. Of course, we began looking through it when one of the male barbarian PC's (played by a female) accidently spilled some perfume on himself which had strange properties. The Barbarian and the elven female mage (played by a male) had a certain sudden uncontrollable urge to make use of the nearby bed (that lasted for about 2 hours game time not real time). By this time everyone was laughing hysterically because their characters were standing outside the open door and were watching the entertainment. Now after everyone stopped laughing (and who wouldn't with a low level barbarian and a mid-level mage going at it) the GM had asked questions and rolled his dice and wouldn't ya just know that the mage got pregnant (snicker).

What made the whole thing so interesting was mainly the fact that the characters are both opposite gender from their players (and the mage doesn't really know she's pregnant yet).

The GM used The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge to make the whole tower and adventure. The GM kept flippin' through and referring to the guide.

--- Xandar

Precise Constitution Points ---

I'd like to tell you about my character (at least, the one for whom this guide is good, since I'm playing at least two characters at any given moment, but that's another story). He is an Elf fighter/bard that due to becoming undead and being resurrected lost 1 Constitution point from his original 11. He asked to return to life (you won't believe it) because he fell in love with a Druid. Due to his chaotic nature, he did some nasty things later (like tempting the police-chief for a gain of about 300 gold pieces...) and had a lover-fight with the druid, but as he apologized to her and did everything he could to please her - they are back together again, and then what? Just as we leave the city, towards the castle that contains a sword and a horse dedicated for the paladin in out party by his god, we meet three(!) meduses!!!! And guess who's becoming a stone on the spot? Yes, me!!! (The other me is a holly-ghost, an undead lawful-good priest of the God of the Sun (I know it sounds crazy) and he is protected by him, so he only got paralyzed in another meduse attack). However, one of my best friends, a vampire magic user (would you please repeat THAT???!!!) succeeded in using him vampiric abilities and use a higher level vampire mage to cast stone-to-flesh on me. He did that three times, 'cause I failed the system shock twice... So, and here we get to our point, I'm left with a Constitution of 7!!! (I still have a Dexterity of 19 and Strength of 17, but I LOVE having sex!!!) ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Since my GM makes me, as a bard, write and sing REAL songs for my spells (I need no spell-books or material components - just a suitable song), I am announcing my next spell-song, which I hope to complete by next session: Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On!

Lately, the Fellowship has found itself at Salba-the Layer of Momentary Pleasure (this is a part of the Layered World, an anomaly located in the Mirn-Kaia Universe, where sex is a requirement for all visitors, and the local monetary unit is one Orgasm (four Orgasms = Multiple Orgasm). The local dominant race, the Salbars, can (and do) grasp momentary sexual pleasure as a physical object in the fabric of Time (in Mirn-Kaia metaphysical terms, Salba is related to the Sphere of Time in a passive way). The job of the second species of Salba, the Timplags, and of all visitors, is to provide sexual divertissement and new experience to the Salbars. As can be imagined, this did give a rise to a lot of really good role-playing. And the bard Luwain, remaining faithful to himself, has sneaked away from the party and remained in Salba, in the bed of no less than Salibu, the Mistress of the Layer.

--- Luwain

A Cleric's Vow ---

I've been in a party with a very complex character. He was a powerful cleric, who had entered clerichood as a sort of escape from his sexuality. He took a vow of chastity of his own accord (his deity certainly didn't care so long as he was a good, faithful cleric).

Once, he was put into no win/no win situation. The only person who could help him was a evil female mage who found him, and his resistance to her many charm, very appealing. Needless to say, the cleric, in order to achieve the good and righteous end, offered himself up.

He stills plays in my world, and now has the terrible guilt (which I use to my advantage) about his poor, illegitimate child, who being raised by an evil mother, may come back to haunt old dad some day. He is actually an excellent character and is very clever when around those hearty fighters going out on the town.... you know the type. From a GMing perspective, I'd have to say, there's not much difference... it's all in how good a roleplayer they are!

--- Bertnof

Cassandra Gets A Friend ---

I now play a psionicist named Cassandra Wissenkunstler, raised from infancy as an orphan by a group of priestesses at a monastery devoted to Areya, goddess of Time and Prophecy. I put in her character background that this had caused her to be celibate so that none of the other players' characters (all male) would stand a chance of scoring with her, but last gaming session - well... I guess I'd better let her tell you.

Cassandra, a slim girl (5'5", 113# only 17), steps forward, seeming a little nervous. "I feel easier talking to a group of strangers about this, for I know not what my companions or my priestesses would say, and I fear what my goddess might do were she to discover what has happened.

"Two months ago, while taking a midday meal at the Blue Boar, a most interesting incident occurred. My server was Camillia, a most attractive girl [17 Comeliness], and while refilling my mug of ale, she chanced to spill some in my lap. She apologized profusely, and quickly began drying my robes with her cleaning rags. Her light touch, as she rubbed the cloth on my inner thighs, sparked a desire in me I have never known before; and when our eyes met I saw the same hunger in her. 'I would do anything to make it up to you,' Camillia whispered. I told her I would like her to make it up that night, and she suggested the residence of Lady Rebecca, where she lived.

"In the arms of Camillia and Lady Rebecca I learned what true pleasure is, and was taught how fingers, lips, and tongue might repay the pleasures I was given." She blushes and falls silent.

Well, since Cassandra can't finish, I'll do it for her. Suffice it to say that the rest of the guys in the gaming group were jealous as hell, but since everyone was on "solo" adventures for the night, none of the other characters found out about it for two full months of game time.

During that interval, Lady Rebecca began calling Cassandra "Clarissa," and my character learned from Camillia that this was actually Rebecca's daughter, whom the lady had hacked to pieces and buried under the cellar when she tried to flee her lesbian mother. Camillia had stayed on out of a combination of fear and love for the older woman, and due to Lady Rebecca's strong personality (save vs. charm with a +4 bonus). I also learned that Rebecca was something of a dominatrix, who routinely bound both Camillia and Cassandra in order to playfully whip them and "tease" them with leather-wrapped wooden, shall we say, "implements."

Finally we (the gaming group) were getting together to leave town on an adventure, except that Lady Rebecca didn't want her precious "new" Clarissa to leave her. I went ectoplasmic in the middle of the night (scared poor Camillia nearly to death) and got out, only to find the thief of the party coming to check up on me. I quickly covered myself by saying that I had been held captive by Rebecca (sure, with the ability to escape ectoplasmically?) and telling him of the implements of torture and the body under the house.

The thief and one of our fighters returned the next night in order to steal a couple of whips and "implements" as evidence against her, which my character then took to the guards, claiming to have escaped with them. When I told the guards of the body, they marched to the house, dug up the skeleton, and summarily executed Lady Rebecca for the crime of murder. Camillia was freed, for they determined that she had been virtually "enslaved" upon fear of her life, and possession of the house reverted to her.

Now she and my character are living there together (except when the group is adventuring), and the other characters in our group are trying hard to help me cope with the awful ordeal of extended captivity and rape I've had to endure (men, they'll believe anything a woman tells them while shaking with terror and crying big crocodile tears).

--- Kenneth Nuckols

Special Thanks

A.C. for his Seducer: Wizard Sub-class. Also, the following spells: Flash, Layla's Good Morning Kiss, Protection From Intoxication, Transfer Charm, Kiss of Intoxication, Stanza's Diseased Kiss, Angel's Negation, Layla's Morning After Kiss, Layla's Seductive Impersonation, Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity, Power Word, Strip, Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease, Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease, Layla's Beautification, Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss of Disease, Layla's Seductive Shapechange, Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair.

Adelheyde for his very intriguing Become Phantasmal Lover spell.

Annihilator, The Anti-Paladin, Demigod of Darkness, Centurion of Evil, and Arioch's Prince for his spell Annihilator's Penis of Power!.

Larry Barthel & his game group for being the first to send pages and pages of a great variety of ideas that were extremely useful in provoking creative elements to the guide. Also, Presto and Nyssa for their little story of an adventure that is used in this guide.

Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm and his wife for the addition of TTC in the rules. Suggestions for the spells Voyeur, Know Sexual Preference, Find Mate, Pillow Talk, and Engorge. Also, the listing of the spell Animal Magnetism. And sending the entire spell Summon Cissaldan. Plus, making the magic item section possible with ideas for the Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy, Ring Of The Bulls, Ring of Perversion (suggested ring of lust), Sheet of Useful Toys (suggested robe of useful things), Breast Plate +1, Perfume/Musk of Attraction, Figurine of the Willing WonTon, Wand of Vibration, Everful Baby Bottle, and Gem of the Vo Yure. Even more thanks for the first draft of the bitch rule which was made and used by his wife's chaotic mage Salina, and appears here do to her creativity. Plus, the background of Salina that appeared with The Bitch Rule. Also, the invention of experimental arrows which spawned the conversion to Cupid's arrows which ended up in their own section. Finally, he came up with all the spell ideas that appear in the "Spells for the Mother" section.

Wade for his humorous ideas in the spell section that added a little something. Plus, his tuna disease.

John "Nightwind" Boelter for informing me of overlooked flaws in the rules, suggestions for each part to make it mucho better, the first draft of the contracting disease system, and other very useful comments.

Bolt A.K.A. Drrainbo for his help in making the Gigolo Bard Sub-class.

Mario R. Borelli and one of his wonderful players for creating the following magic items: Boo-Hag Goggles, Earring(s) of Androgyny, Girdle of Speedy Gestation, Jackknife of Circumcision, Hourglass of Parietals, Philter of Love, Potion of Aphrodisia, Potion of Potency, Phylactery of Prophylactics, Ring of Sexuality Detection, Spectacles of Revealing. Also, his comrade and he created the following mage spells: Arousal, Wet Dream, Divine Sexual Orientation, Freudian Thoughts, Fyltar's Pheromonal Force, Masturbation, Reverse Sexual Orientation, Revulsion, Seduce Undead, Chastity, Constant Orgasm, Contraception, Homophobia, Neville's Wandering Hand, Pornographic Glamer, Sex Slave, Obsession, Prowess, Embarrassing Fetish, Reverse Gender Orientation, Conjure Succubus/Incubus, Prismatic Dildo, Impregnate. Furthermore, his comrade and he created the following cleric spells: Detect Venereal Disease, Divine Sexual Experience, Lactation, Repair Virginity, Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy. "On Sex And Sexuality In The Realms" section was contributed by him as well. Finally, he wrote the "A cleric's penance" story.

David Butler for his Wand of Pillows magic item.

Chopper for the following items: Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item, Basque of Transvestitism, Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment, Marishars Miraculous Bath House.

Brandon Cope for his remarks.

John Daniel the greatest article seeker, for sending via SnailMail an obscure article that appeared in The White Dwarf entitled The Houri Character Class from which I created the Houri Wizard Sub-class. Also from this article, I created or modified the following spells: Fascination, Impotence, Jealously, Lovesickness, Sex Change, Kiss of Sleep, Kiss of Death, Kiss of Weakness, Kiss of Slavery, Blown Kiss, Hearthbreaker (my personal favorite). Also, the Lipstick Of Irresistibility came from this source. Plus, he referred me to a Witch article where some very good spells were found which appear modified in this guide as Charm Man I and Seduction I, plus he made some good modifications to said spells. Furthermore, he is always making suggestions on various parts of the guide. A story by him appears in the story section of the guide. A small comment by him (Babies...what happens when all these adventurers have sex. What are the chances of conception per time?), which spawned the "Conception: What Are The Odds?" section of the guide. Plus, his paternity suit adventuring idea.

Dave, compiler of the Net Players Supplement (found on a FTP site somewhere on the net) from which was taken the spells Davenet's Seduction, Sexify/Enhance Comeliness, Slap, and Tweak/Goose which I slightly changed but they basically appear as originally created.

Brian D. for the 1st draft of the "Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids" section, which is a very useful additive to any campaign. Plus, the addition of the magic item Sword of Castration (suggested Sword Vorpal Weapon).

Roberto Nunes "The Ascetic" for the Psiducer: Psionicist sub-class, his Cindy Wind Rider NPCs and the following psionic powers: Know Sexual Preference, Sexual Pheromones Secretion, Mind Over Sexual Endurance, Contraception, Enhance Fertility, Export Disease, Willy's Expansion, and Conductive Kiss.

Roberto Di Meglio for his coitus interruptus rules that are in the "Wild-Thing Rules" section.

Vicki L. Domansky, a.k.a. Morgaine for her magic-item Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini.

Lisa Dusseault for her excellent work on the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome section.

Findel the Wonderer Ladies' Glass Ball magic-item.

The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) pages L-1 and L-2 where the information for the "The House Of Ill Repute" section came from. Also, page L-3 where the information for the "Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)" section came from. Also, for Kuber Hasbin on page L-2. This item is not in print anymore so if you can find it somewhere then get it; its worth it.

Carlos Fernando for his magic-items Wand Of Love and Periapt Of Sexual Aides. The great contribution of the following sexual insanities: Coprophilia, Exhibitionism, Fetishism, Geroniophilla, Masochism, Pedophilia, Periculuphilia, Pigmalionism, Sadism, Uridpsomania, Voyeurism, and Zoophilia. Finally, the Sexual Tendency section.

Jason Golden for questioning the magical diseases and the multiple orgasm idea. Also, for requesting a system for contracting disease.

Jeff Gostin for his clever "Daddy's Little Girl" Syndrome.

James A. Hooper Penis of Astounding magic-item and the spells: Skank, Bigby's Bitch Slap.

Ronald "Greymoon" Jones for his Frictionless Sheets magic-item.

The Judges Guild Volume I (Copyrighted 1978 Judges Guild) pages 5-6 for game information on WOMEN. The inclination and vital statistic information found in the prostitute random generator was taken from here and modified slightly to fit into this guide.

Jim Katic for the section "On The Subject Of A Shape Changing Mother And Child" and for the section "Inter-Species Fertility".

David Kelman for his spell Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes.

Sven De Kerpel for his comments and additions on the prostitute section of the guide which resulted in seven major chances to the tables to make them more realistic and playable.

Steve Langton for the "Prostitutes are nasty" story in the story section.

Tim Larson for inspiring the Skilled Perversion NWP.

Lonadar the Wanderer bringing up the race question, commenting on a lot of the spells, adding the feather to the components of Leomund's Ting Brothel.

Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale of The Fellowship of the Flying Paladin for the Precise Constitution Points story. He created the A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs section and contributed "Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On" to it.

Andrew Lohmann for his Induce Pleasure Psionic Power.

Mark Manning for his Teeney-Weeny-Bikini magic item.

John M. Martz for his criticisms on the pregnancy rules and his clerical spells: Baltasar's Impediment, Fertility.

Mizar, the Brilliant for assinting in the creation of the section "The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got?"

Nige for his Sexual Phobia insanity.

Hugo M. Nijhof who made a list of spells from which I took and modified the spells Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss and Vampiric Kiss.

Kenneth Nuckols for his "Cassandra Gets A Friend" story in the story section.

The Anti-Paladin, Nomed the Accursed for his abyss level in the section An Abyss Level.

Nosferatu for The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only.

Mike Parasich for the spells Cure Soreness, Enchant Condom, Delay Orgasm, Deep Throat, Power Word: Disrobe; all of which were mentioned.

The Phantom for the Alternative Sexist Height & Weight rule in the baby section.

Arron Sher, compiler of The NET.PLOTS.BOOK from which the vampire adventuring idea came from.

Sir Gregor creator of The Bobitt Maneuver.

Scott Spetalnik for seeing that a bell curve wasn't used with the ability scores.

Matt Sullivan for his humble comments and recommendations that inspired a few modifications to the rules. For the first draft of "Seduction: More Than Reaction Roles" section, which was very creative.

Tony for the in the Homosexual Plots section: Evil of Homosexuality.

Train, GM for the following ideas in the Homosexual Plots section: The Gay Man and the Jealous Wife; Saying No; Land of Fairies, Literally; and Reverse Rape.

Mark H. Vest for his magical item the Girdle of Hippolyte.

Vinnie & Rahasia Mage Priestess of Ishtar The Priestess of Love for ReErection spell idea and suggesting a spell that simulates the Nereid's kiss. For keeping them comments coming on everything I needed help on. Plus, he suggested wisdom modifiers for the Houri seduction rules which were implemented. For additions to the sexual knowledge skill. For the "Adventuring Idea" section and three ideas (Love Boat, Dog Man Needs A Date, Twins) that appear there. For the idea and suggestions for Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love which appears in the magic-items section.

Owen Winkler for a first draft of the impotence spell that I used.

Xandar for his story "A Barbarian's Boo-Boo" in the story section of the guide.

Following a strange and perverse discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the section "Protection of the Worst Kind (for the Male)" was created based on the following persons' comments: Rod and Kenneth Nuckols.

Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the section "Has Anyone Played a Homosexual Character?" was created based on the following persons' comments: Andy Trembley, Geoffrey Wyen, Akira, Scott Spetalnik, Gyorgy Schadt, Russ Fontaine, Andrew Hackard.

Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the section "ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC?" was created based on the following persons' comments: Felix Leadfingers, Kalindra Nightstalker aka Michelle Carter, and Paul .

After the first release of the guide, I recieved a message from Rob:

What would pregnancy do to a theif's skills? What about a mage or bard? We decided that there was no good set rule but that they would be greatly affected.

This led to a large conversation on the a RPG about pregnancy. The main contibution to the conversation was Vicki L. Domansky, Morgaine. Some major comments, suggestions, and ideas came from John M. Martz. John "Nightwind" Boelter made some great comments, suggestions, and ideas as well as Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm and his wife. Others were: Bob Smith, Paul Duggan, Paul J. Cummings, Joe, Lord Baylor Ironsbane, Brian David Phillips, Philippe Goujard the FAQ Dude.

The Internet Controversy of the Guide

Upon the first completion of this guide (06/01/92), it was offered to members of a various RPG lists that are found on the INTERNET. Over 50 people responded and received the guide. Some people disliked the guide and stated their opinions on the discussion list, and others rebutted their complaints. Below is the argument that took place.

Comment

I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating these insane articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've tolerated a lot of crazy things on this list and mostly just delete them if I don't want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it without trying to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and crazy I can't stand it. I don't want to have to 'delete' it... I mean lets take a closer look at this for a second. First off I'm sure many of you have had those silly encounters where your group felt like being goofy and some characters had sex, and perhaps some of you have had serious encounters about this sort of thing to go along with the story of the campaign. But... I think it's really ridiculous that someone might think we could use a guide on how to role-play sex. Granted sex is very important... but God man... we don't need freaking articles on 'how to do it' because if we don't know already we have no business 'doing it' in the first place.... game or otherwise. I've been playing for several years... and I've encountered stories and spot adventures of sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like THIS in all 10 years of playing until I kept seeing articles like this last one. Now maybe some of you out their have a different opinion... if so... lets hear it... I'd like to know WHY we should have guides on HOW to have SEX in RPGs because I think they are personally a waste of space and just tell me how much time that person had free on his hands to write such a ridiculous article in the first place.

Thank you for your time.

--- Your friendly neighborhood Anti-Paladin

Nomed 'the Accursed'

Comment

I have taken the time to read the aforementioned Guide to RPG sex. It is your game, play it the way you want to. If you have fun with it, then more power to you. I find the whole thing infantile and lacking any merit whatsoever. The whole sophomoric tone led to initially believe it was a joke. Perhaps it still is.

Ristonofer

On high ground, donning the asbestos.

Comment

Come on now, the author of the sex guide was making an attempt at adding something to the game and all of a sudden, out of the woodwork, comes friggin' Siskel and Ebert of literature. Give the guy a break. I haven't completely finished reading the "guide" but come now. People have the right to compile what they like. Ristanofer (sp?): is it truly infantile to experiment?? I see nothing very wrong with it. I think that we should give the guy a break. From what I read, he isn't the only one who helped compile it. There are many others. Are you and the lady (I'm sorry but I forgot her logo) going to hunt all of these people down and flame them?? I think not. I think that the best thing y'all can do is mellow out and let someone hang themselves with the newly created length of rope, and if they do not, well, wish them luck.

P.S. that was IMHO, of course. And if you must, flames are welcome.

P.P.S. but I prefer not to see any.

DeathWish

Comment

I must agree with Deathwish about the sex guide. This discussion list is a forum for presenting ideas. Not those ideas that are good or those ideas that are bad but all ideas. What may be junk to one person may be a gold mine to another.

I can see nothing wrong with offering the guide to the net on the chance that someone may feel it is useful. Obviously someone felt so or the author would not have had all the collaboration on the project from fellow list members.

If you have a problem with someone's work send them private e-mail before flaming them before the list.

IMHO.

Greg Dillingham

Comment

I, too, have read the guide. I find it humorous, but of the "Did you hear the joke about the girl with HUGE ...", etc.. It's REALLY infantile (although most of the jokes that truly make me laugh are as well) and I think you're either going to hate it or love it. Me, I'm afraid I hate it. Well done, but I think the original idea was... (I'm gonna duck the flame after this) lame.

Yers,

Greg (Malek)

Comment

As one of the people who made some (minimal) contributions to the guide, I must say the following. While you may not like some parts of the guide, find them infantile, etc., I am sure that there is something in there for every GM. Even if you do not like 99% of it, that last 1% is going to be something that will make your eyes light up, and start the wheels of your mind turning. Read it before passing judgement. 'Nuff Said on the subject....happy dice rolling.

Comment

Well I should say read the guide or give it at least a good look before you start saying things like that! It's not just to tell ya how to do the thing but it's to add more flavor and much more fun on this subject. Yes you should really give it a look. It's full of really nice/funny/wonderful/weird ideas. The developers where all very surprised of what became of the Guide and I Think many of you will also be very surprised if you take a look!

Don't think that because it's related to this subject called Sex that it's bad stupid or useless. It certainly ain't an 'Escape from Reality' (or whatever you wanna call it) to have some fake Sex! (...because you don't get enough in your own life.....aahhhwww What a pitty....Oooppss I'm sorry) I really wouldn't wanna trade places with the PC's who were gonna be involved with those rules. Yeah take a look at those real nasty diseases and neat Kiss Spells! You certainly don't wanna be subject of most of those!!! The Guide is there just to add more Fun and fresh ideas to this wonderful game.

I have to admit that I first thought it was a stupid idea too but then I saw some nice ideas and joined the developers in making it a nice FREE good developed product!

Vinnie

Okay I'll now put on my Protection from fire again and wield my Frostbrand so come-on with those Flame Throwers! But Don't try to barbecue me when you didn't gave a good look at the Guide! First look & read before you start Flaming the Thing (yeah You can't start a fire on something if you do not really know what it is! It could be either Alcohol or Water! he he :) And I guess you don't wanna waste your flamethrower on the water!

Comment

Valiant Comrades,

Regarding the uproar about the Sex Guide, I agree with the supporters, and to the critics I have to say LIGHTEN UP! If you don't like the principal of the guide, then simply refrain from using it. Even the Dungeon Master's Guide isn't written in stone.

Besides, there is some useful stuff in there. Any GM who can't find creative uses for an Houri NPC should have his proverbial licence revoked.

And, no matter how you view an RPG, it is still ONLY A GAME. If someone takes offence to the principal or content therein, perhaps a different hobby is in order.

Hall-ee-mor Dargess

Comment

How come I never got a copy of the sex guide? I asked for one. Can someone send me a copy please. Sure, it may seem a little silly or stupid, but it can't hurt. I'll read it then decide if I want to use it. There's probably something in it for everybody. What ever happened to free expression? Some people are so oppressive!

Austin Repath

Comment

MiXeD iN tHe hEaD

I believe it!

I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating these insane articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've tolerated a want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it without trying to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and crazy I can't stand it.

You "can't stand it" ?!? You have some personal problem with other people's creativity? You may not share others sense of humor and they may not respect your morals, but this is a public access list. You seem to indicate it should be censored! Now step back and realize that other people, myself included, are mature enough to moderate 'use of sex' in our own games. Some of these articles have had some good ideas, while all of them at the very least are intended to be taken light-heartedly. So have fun with it, or just ignore it.

adventures of sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like THIS in all 10 years of playing until I kept seeing articles like this last...

I dunno who you've been gaming with... But the college students I have played with have done much "worse" than this list's "Guide to Sex." Of course like any other "rules for RPGs" the sex stuff is just a tool. Suggestions...and most of all a good laugh from some creative gamers who defiantly have a grip on the real world.

Think about sex-education through role-playing games :) One must learn that if his promiscuous paladin doesn't wear his "ring of protection" (and I don't mean the one on worn on the hands...) that he may pick up some nasty effects, possibly magical! Eeeooch!

With the slightest bow and tip of his hat, the Rogue steps back into the night...

Comment

You guys need to grow the fuck up. Go out and buy a Hustler or two and figure out what you really should play with, besides yourselves. Notice "elves" in there! *** CENSORED ***

Taipan The Tampon

This document has been edited for legibility purposes by OLIK / Ole A. Ringdal, olear@online.no / http://home.sol.no/olear / http://lstud.ii.uib.no/~s734