Skeleton, Yo-Ho-Ho

Description

Yo-Ho-Ho skeletons are magical undead monsters, created by a strange necromancer. The necromancer was fascinated with pirates and wanted to make his own pirate crew. Unfortunately, he was somewhat insane and made these comical skeletons. Of course, he is dead now but his notes still exist so Yo-Ho-Hoes live on through the works of other necromancers. Why they want to create such whimsical skeletons is unknown.

Yo-Ho-Hoes appear to have no ligaments or musculature which would allow movement. Instead, the bones are magically joined together during casting of an animate dead spell. Skeletons have no eyes or internal organs.

A Yo-Ho-Ho wears a black pirate hat with the preverbal skull and crossbones on it. They wield a cutlass in one hand and a bottle of rum in the other.

Yo-Ho-Hoes can only be made from the bones of sea-faring humans or demihumans.

Combat

While Yo-Ho-Hoes engage in combat, they sing a hearty tune by Allison and Waller:

Yo Ho Ho

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike
The bosun brained with a marlinspike
And cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men
Like break o'day in a boozing ken
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

The skipper lay with his nob in gore
Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the soggy skies
Dripped down in up-staring eyes
In murk sunset and foul sunrise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ten of the crew had the murder mark!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

'Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
Or a yawing hole in a battered head
And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red
And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes
Looking up at paradise
All souls bound just contrawise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

There was chest on chest of Spanish gold
With a ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot of stuff untold,
And they lay there that took the plum
With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb,

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

A flimsy girl on a bunker cot
With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot
And the lace stiff dry in a purplish rot
Oh was she wench or was she jade
Or was she just a shuddering maid?
She dared the knife and she took the blade
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

(Note: From a 1901 Broadway musical. Inspired by quatrain in Stevenson's Treasure Island. Reportedly, "Dead Man's Chest" was a Caribbean island rendezvous of buccaneers and smugglers. Last verse supplied by JY, other printed in Songs of the Navy, USNA RG)

Yo-Ho-Hoes fight proficiently with a cutlass; Damage: S-M: 1d6, L: 1d8; Speed Factor: 5). They do not suffer any negative effects while fighting because of their magical nature as normal skeletons do.

A Yo-Ho-Ho's other attack is the ability to throw bottles. A rum bottle will magically appear in a Yo-Ho-Ho's hand (the hand without the cutlass). The Yo-Ho-Ho can throw the bottle up to 50 feet. The bottle will break upon contact doing 1d4 points of damage. The bottle contains rum that will ignite if any flames are near (within 2 yards) the bottle when it breaks. Another bottle will replace a tossed bottle immediately. The bottle and its contents are not magical. The rum in the bottle is of excellent quality if it can be taken intact.

Yo-Ho-Hoes are immune to all sleep, charm, and hold spells. Because they are assembled from bones, cold-based attacks also do Yo-Ho-Hoes no harm. The fact that they are mostly empty means that edged or piercing weapons (like swords, daggers, and spears) inflict only half-damage when employed against Yo-Ho-Hoes. Blunt weapons, with larger heads designed to break and crush bones, cause normal damage against Yo-Ho-Hoes. Fire also does normal damage against Yo-Ho-Hoes. Holy water inflicts 2-8 points of damage per vial striking the skeleton.

Skeletons are immune to fear spells and need never check morale, usually being magically commanded to fight to the death. When a Yo-Ho-Ho dies, it falls to pieces with loud clunks and rattles.

Habit/Society

Yo-Ho-Hoes have no social life or interesting habits. They can be found anywhere there is a wizard powerful enough and a eccentric enough to make them. Oddly, clerics are currently unable to make Yo-Ho-Hoes, mainly because no cleric has pursued such avenues. Mages create Yo-Ho-Hoes because the recipe already exists.

Yo-Ho-Hoes have almost no minds whatsoever, and can obey only the simplest one- or two-phrase orders from their creators. Yo-Ho-Hoes fight in unorganized masses and tend to botch complex orders disastrously.

A Yo-Ho-Ho retains sea-faring memories of its formal life. If a person gets a chance to actually talk to a Yo-Ho-Ho, the Yo-Ho-Ho will tell tales of the high seas. Very little practical information can be obtained, the Yo-Ho-Ho can only tell stories, tales, and legends of the high seas as he knows it; not valuable information like ship layouts, battle strategies, etc.. GM's should understand that this ability should only be used to add flavor to the creature, not to be abused. A GM may want to allow a Yo-Ho-Ho tell a tale of sunken treasure and create an exciting adventure from there.

Ecology

The process for creating Yo-Ho-Hoes is more complicated then the process for a simple skeleton. GMs should decide the process and materials need. Suggested materials are a sea-faring skeleton, an animate dead spell, salt water, aged rum, high-quality bottles, a parchment containing the pirate song, and a high-quality cutlass.

Writer's Note: Inspired by the Pirates of the Caribbean at DisneyLand. The skeleton pirates can be found at the beginning of the ride.